I'm thinking of moving

Not in real life...we are here in Bingham Farms for keeps! How can a person move when she has so many things in the ground and so many plans for herself, her husband, and her children in this one spot!

No, I'm thinking of moving to a new blog.

I love this blog. It saved my sanity at a time when I had a LOT to work out. It connected me with strangers who became my friends, it made friends out of my acquaintances, and it even brought me closer to my closer set of friends and family members. I could never have dreamed up the advantages that blogging provided me with during my chemo year (and beyond).

However, when I set up this blog as a way to talk about my breast cancer and disseminate information, I chose to have the title be my name. I couldn't think up anything snappy (still can't), but also saw the value in making it simple. If people wanted to know what was going on with our family in the middle of the cancer year, they could look it up pretty easily. Try a few variations of Pam Lucken and blogger, and you could find me! It was a great tool for me when I was sharing information that was good to share.

Happily, my life isn't really about my own breast cancer story anymore. I don't have news to share with a bunch of people at one time. Unhappily, though...I feel like I have some bigger issues than my Stage I Invasive Ductal Carcinoma (not to encourage it to come back bigger and more deadly...I'm hoping it will stay a non-issue!). I'm doing just fine...but the cancers that have affected my life that are NOT my own have been harder for me to deal with than my own was.

I'd like to keep (or more appropriately, start, again) writing. I love the format of blogging - draft, hit "publish", and never look back! I don't mind sharing my stories. However, I'm not sure that I want that person who is coming back for a quick visit, hoping to see that this breast cancer survivor is still doing well, and have that person then be immersed in my latest types of therapies. (For that person - I AM doing well! I am living...I am regular...I am cancer-free, as much as anyone knows if they are cancer-free or not.) Curiously enough, in an age when everyone is blogging, self-promoting, social media-ing - I feel like being more anonymous. I'm not sure that the stuff I will be working on next will be appropriate for light chatter in the pickup line...I don't want people to shy around me like I might be fragile (I'm not)...I want to end this blog and say:

I am doing so well...THANK YOU for being with me on my journey! I am so grateful for your company!

Who knows what is ahead...good things, I am sure. I am sure I will keep (or start, again) writing - just maybe in a place that seems more safe for me. (And I know the internet is not ever safe...so in choosing this medium I am not entirely "safe" from whatever...but I want to make a fresh start and see what kind of good work I can do next.)

And...if I am NOT lucky, (as sadly, too many breast cancer survivors are) and if I need this blog to share about issues that are impacting my health and the future of my family, then I'll come back! Let's hope I don't need it.


margaret said...

As a frequent reader and visitor and a good friend of Julie's, I've admired your courage, humor, and writing all this time but never have commented before. It's wonderful to see that you'll be doing more writing, and by all means go live that life and find those dreams. Stay healthy and happy, and all the best to you.

shelley :) said...

You really helped me through my battle with breast cancer (more than you'll EVER know) and I will never forget it. Thanks for writing and sharing so much of your life and your thoughts. I hope you find an even more wonderful outlet for your talents Pam.

Anonymous said...

Pam Lucken!
So great to see your TEAM doing so well with fundraising for this year's 3Day. I'm not sure you remember me - but you were an inspiration when we met on the POST WALK stretch mats two years ago. Last year I only raised the minimum and convinced myself that I wasn't going to push hard because of the economy - but seeing you AGAIN last year at the 3Day caused me to think "if I CAN raise more - I SHOULD raise more". You've been an inspiration for two years now and I was so glad to have met you that day. Good luck - keep walking - we're making progress!
See you at the 3Day
Susan Bernard

pl said...

Margaret - thank you so much for your kind words! I couldn't not respond to such a nice comment... :)
Shelley - can't wait to walk with your husband! I'm so happy we have connected.
Susan! - you are an inspiration to me! I can't believe how much money you have raised this year...THANK YOU SO MUCH! See you in August!