OK, I take it back

I'm not really a bad-ass at all, and I'm not even sure I want to be one. It is so like me to flip-flop in less than 24 hours, but sometimes that is how it goes - I make a grand statement and then decide it doesn't quite fit. I should think these things through before I make the grand statement, but I'm not that evolved yet. I think as I go, or sometimes after I go!

Here's what I do think, though...I like that the bald head softens things around me. I like to see it change people, to soften them. Today I am almost certain it worked again - a worker at a smoothie shop was all upset and fierce with her customers, but it did seem like she calmed down once she saw the head.

I also am glad I am coming to terms with the new look. I'm not as intrepid as some of the brave women I know who are fighting or have fought their cancers - my new friend Missy is a real inspiration with her view of her head (she calls it her beautiful head, which it is), my friend Nancy was very cool with her baldness, and a woman at Katie's school made her head accessory choices really, really fun for herself. I think it is 0k that I am not as confident, though, and that is a step for me to accept myself for not being quite as great as the others!

I am very warm in this 90 degree weather, though...and also, though I am not as happy with the bald head myself, I am caring much, much, much less about what others think about it. I have had such great responses from my interactions with kids, that I am able to worry less. I went for a walk last night (ok, it was totally dark - 9:30-11pm was pretty late, but in the summer, it is so nice to walk when there is no sun...anyone want to join me?) but I walked bald and it felt so nice to feel breeze on my head!

No comments: