Giving myself more scars, thankfully

Just before we went to Roatan, I spied a new mole (nevus) on my abdomen, which immediately began freaking me out. Well, maybe not FREAKING ME OUT...but I had a strong feeling that I needed to get it removed. I've never had moles removed, but I do get skin checks yearly since I have (what I feel is) too many moles, fair skin, and also a long-standing need for a dermatologist's expertise (oh the acne years/decades).

So, I made an appointment for the day we returned from our trip. Does all of this sound familiar? Pam goes on vacation, finds something, gets it checked out... The timing is just a teeny bit off as I found it just BEFORE vacation, but still. Weird.

I drag my 3 little turkeys into the dermatologist's office (Emma had something to get checked, too, and we got back so late on Thursday that I had the kids skip school and sleep in that Friday). The PA checks me, says she'd like to remove 2 of the moles, but I will have scars. I remind her that she just SAW my belly/chest - with the mastectomy scars, the port scar, the oophorectomy scars, the c-section scar, the stretch marks from 3 pregnancies - does it LOOK like I care about a few more scars down there? I ask her again about the mole that started it all. "I think it looks perfectly normal, but I will remove it if you feel very strongly about it."

It took a little effort for me to say, "Yes, I feel strongly about it..." I'm a people-pleaser (if those people aren't my poor husband or children), especially with someone who has more knowledge than I do. But I said it, and had it removed. (And a little side note, here - numbing shots into my abdomen and having my moles scraped off in front of my 3 children? Weirdo, but at least I was multi-tasking and modeling no fear of medical procedures.)

Fast-forward to today...a follow-up for Emma and, I decided, another appointment for me. I may as well take off this other annoying mole on my belly, too. The PA tells me that 2 of my moles were benign, and my little guy, that started it all? The one she didn't feel should come off? The only abnormal one. I refrained from skipping around the office, telling her that I was right and she was wrong.

So she took off more, to get clean margins...and I had her remove 3 additional moles.

Then I came home, thought back to these crazy compulsions I can have sometimes - like that feeling that I must remove this teeny mole which seemed like nothing - and thanked my darling mother. I don't care if other people don't believe she is telling me to do certain things. I know myself, and I just would never be looking at myself that closely, or feeling so strongly about a teeny mole, without a little guidance. Thanks, Mom!

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