The people at Starbucks are committed to staving off a recurrence of my breast cancer

I know this is most likely a result of my inability to enunciate my words, but the last two times I have placed my order at Starbucks (tall, non-fat, with-whip mocha...the girl loves her chocolate and her dairy products), the barristas have handed me back a tall, non-fat, no-whip mocha.

No-whip? Don't you know that is the 4th most important part of the drink (following the caffeine, the chocolate, and the hotness, which makes me feel all cozy inside)? How can I drink this? Well, ok...if I must.

But if I must drink this, I am going to drink this thinking that the greater universe wants me to succeed in my goal of preventing a breast cancer recurrence...and you, Starbucks barrista, are just following the universe's great plans for me. The universe knows that a low-fat diet is recommended as being beneficial for the prevention of breast cancer recurrence in triple negative disease. The universe also understands that I am trying to drop this little mocha habit of mine and wants to help me with it (even at 1-2 times a week, such a waste of money and fat calories when I could be eating peanut butter from the jar instead).

Now if only the universe could put a muzzle on me for the REST of the day...and then I would really achieve that low fat diet!