Hair

It hasn't taken long - I'm totally over losing my hair. I still think it is not a good look, but it doesn't shock me to see myself without hair anymore. Actually, now when I look at pictures of myself with hair, I'm nostalgic but almost can't recognize myself that way. I guess I really move forward quite quickly - on to the next thing! Now I'm just ugly hairless girl - but the hair doesn't make the person. I'm still the same old thing inside, and that is what I mostly feel, and I'm thankful for it.

I know I'm over it because I would rather be bald at home even over wearing hats (and of course I bought the most cozy hats). It just gets tiring to have something on my head all the time. I spent all afternoon in the yard bald - the glories of 1.77 acres! I'm aware that this look could shock and scare other people (it was shocking and scary to me to see pictures of people with bald heads before I lost my own hair), so I'm glad I have such a big yard...and also glad that all the neighbors have been so nice and concerned about me so if they catch me bald it won't be a huge surprise to them. I doubt I'll take any pictures - I couldn't even take pictures of myself when I was pregnant, and though I sort of wish that I did so I can remember what it was like, I'm not going to mend my ways now.

As a side note, I tried out my wig this weekend and it seems like it was a success! I know that people who know me and are used to the way my hair was would definitely notice that this is NOT my hair, but I was at Matthew's baptism and the party following it with a good test group - people who I may have met before but haven't seen very many times or often in my life. Amy's sister-in-law Michelle said that she figured out it was a wig when I was playing with my hair and the whole thing moved (note to self: do not adjust wig in public, no matter how self conscious I am!). There were also people at the party who didn't think it was a wig at all (I hadn't met them before). Thanks to Amy for the investigative reporting!

I was SURE they all must have known that I was wearing a wig, and was very self-conscious, so later when I changed into something more cozy for the drive home I changed into a hat instead of the wig. I wonder how much I shocked people when I came down with the hat! Luckily they all know about the cancer and the chemo so it made sense anyway...they maybe just thought I hadn't lost it yet, or weren't sure.

SO the upshot is, I'm glad I have the wig because sometimes it is just nice to see hair on my head. It isn't comfortable, though, so if I want to FEEL hair on my head, I make Emma come over and drape her hair over my head. THAT feels comfortable, and I'm sure I'll love to have that again someday.

In the meantime, I can shower in probably less than one minute! There is no shaving to do, and no hair to shampoo and condition. This morning I was wishing I had more reasons to stay under the water for longer, but I didn't, so I got out. I'll be very eco-conscious this spring and summer, that is for sure...and save lots of water!