Overwhelmed by cancer world

Today I revisited my breast surgeon. I like the term "revisited" because no one told me to go to her, or when I should follow-up. I do wish I had either been given or asked for more direction from that office...I only went because I felt like I should learn how to check myself, and ask a few questions before I start getting my right side put back together in 9 days.

And oh my goodness, am I so worn out right now. The MD told me I should have seen a radiation oncologist. What? Don't you remember telling me I wouldn't need to see one? Don't I remember my oncologist telling me I didn't need to see one, either...something small like a bilateral mastectomy and 6 rounds of TAC...meaning radiation would be of no real benefit? So now, 9 days before I am about to get an expander put in, I may need to see a radiation oncologist, who might say I need radiation, which means I would maybe never get to be put together that way after all?

So then I went to S's chemo, which was like a bright spot, because she was beautiful, and composed, and fun-loving, and wonderful. She made friends and took everything in stride. It was fun to spend the time with her...though there was a glitch. My husband by that time was FREAKING OUT about this need to see a radiation oncologist and insisted I go stalk my oncologist and ask him what he thought.

I was so not into doing that. I like to have appointments, and feel like I earned and deserve my face time with a physician, not like I am stealing him away from other people who need him. But Bill was probably not going to let me back into the house if I didn't stalk him, he was so upset. So I stalked, and my MD is so great he put me in a room and told me what he thought. So that was sort of like appointment #2 for me today (totally unplanned).

Then I went back out to sit for a while with Sybil, and I went out to appointment #3 - a follow-up with my gynecological oncologist. Also a lovely person, he spent lots of time with me, and we discussed the radiation oncology stuff, he gave me names, etc.

I was all fine and dandy in the middle of all of these appointments, but now that I am home I'm tired of cancer.

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