Quick notes!

It's hard to write when one's already-chemo-addled brain is ALSO on painkillers...hard to even think, really. I do find it such a shame to have my little brain trying to work so hard and getting so little done. Happily, I am on the mend and off the killers of pain, so I've got a better chance of saying something lucid. Good thing, because there is nothing like knowing your plastic surgeon and pediatrician (and their wonderful staff) have seen your blog when it comes to feeling writer's block!

But, some thinking and mental recall needs to be done - if only to keep track of this crazy year for myself! SO I am going back to quickly writing things down to get them off the smaller-than-ever brain.

I am so amused that a person can go home directly following surgery. That post-surgery haze when I am feeling like I am operating fully, but then realize later I don't remember what the recovery nurse looked like, how I got my clothes on, and all of my discharge instructions (guess who thought she was supposed to take OFF her steri-strips? Someone who will have slightly larger scars than she would have otherwise! But I don't mind. I AM glad to be off the killers of pain just so that I can make better decisions from here on out, though!) Remind self next time, Pam - bring a tape recorder, or at least 2 extra people to the discharge instruction! It is too much for just me and my loving and totally-stressed husband to handle!

My incisions are tiny, like 1/2 inch or so...two on my left side and one on my right. I believe the top incision on the left is where the camera went in. My abdomen is still swollen, but things are all working properly. I was speaking to dear chemo buddy Missy today, and she joked that instead of sending flowers following a surgery requiring general anesthesia, we should send Miralax and prune juice!

For about the past week I have been almost entirely consumed with my bowel habits. Lovely, isn't it? First, I was worried about the Great Bowel Cleanse of 2008, which was totally easy. (Ellyn, you were totally right...the Gatorade/Miralax mixture was not bad at all.) Since I generally tend to use the bathroom more than anyone I know (is this sharing too much?!!), it wasn't even much of an increase in output. Post-surgery, I have been concerned with my regularity as if it was my job, and working non-stop to ensure the success of that mission. Mission Accomplished!

Here are some other funny notes to self about the week -

• I had a burst of energy and was bossing the family around, making them get their stuff together, rattling off information, etc. and Emma indulgently smiled at me and said, "You ARE back to normal, Mom!"
• Yesterday, after quite a busy day of being both Dad and Mom (though he had quite able assistance from my sister Amy, and even a little from me), Bill was totally wiped out! He was lying on the couch, telling jokes, and not able to move. He kept saying that his internal clock had gone off, telling him it was time for me to yell at him, and he didn't know how to function until it happened. Poor husband!
  
• Why is it that the fleeting absence of a fairly constant physical pain can bring out such delight? If I found a good position and the pain subsided for just a minute, it was like I was in heaven! You'd think I'd still be in pain mode, but no...I sometimes find myself just so in love with life right in the middle of it all. The juxtaposition of pain/no-pain can bring out happiness so readily, where regular life's lack of this juxtaposition just doesn't always bring out that high.

(And now that I am reading this over, I put those two separate thoughts together and make a discovery! It was the absence of a fairly constant emotional pain in his rear end - me - that put Bill over the top with bliss so that he couldn't even function! I would try to leave him alone more, but he is now used to a certain amount of stress, apparently.)